Sunday, 10 April 2016

Short Films Class Feedback for Crit


Shovel

Ashley Davy

22.3:D –  imaginative and mood (the candles go out breaking continuity so non-linear?) has strong twist and many shots. BEST angles mood and meaning as well as produced with excellent mise en scene and technical quality

16.3:D flow, pace and special effect done well, with trans BEST
16.2 M

Kenny Akale

22.3 : D excellent variety and framing, using use of focus and lighting with candles, angles mood and meaning as well as produced with excellent mise en scene and technical quality

16.3 : D foley used

James White

22.3 D excellent variety and framing, using use of focus and lighting with candles, angles mood and meaning as well as produced with excellent mise en scene and technical quality

16.3 D a couple of jumps, good – cut away used for death theme and a montage – more controlled? Foley v good and layered

16.2 prep M

Black Oak


Tommy Griffin

16.2 prep M

16.3 M/D WT D uses stock footage squirrel purposefully establishing detail/innocence, sound works with images, Needs alternative editing or non-linear to get the D. Also complete the story... 5 min to D.

22.3 M technical quality of camera and lighting good, range of shot types used appropriately, rule of thirds consistent, breaks continuity 180 deg rule during shock point, not a completed mystery or twist clear. Roopa is moving but dead? Shallow focus in place, lighting used in the scene with mystery character but too dark/uncontrolled.

Roopa

22.3 technical quality of camera and lighting good, range of shot types used appropriately, rule of thirds consistent, not a completed mystery or twist clear. Roopa is moving but dead? Shallow focus in place, lighting used in the scene with mystery character but too dark/uncontrolled.

16.3 M/P cross dissolve, jump cuts sound is too immediate and footsteps, on-board sound is still audible – less proficient. Has minor technical flaws and is rather short. Enough for M.

Luke Gray – final cut is only 1 shot, rough cut ONLY marked

22.3: M technical quality of camera and lighting good, range of shot types used appropriately, rule of thirds consistent, not a completed mystery or twist clear. Roopa is moving but dead? Shallow focus in place, lighting used in the scene with mystery character but too dark/uncontrolled.

16.3: M/P – sound issues here with on board camera sound, however there is flow but the scene with james is not well/polished and out of sequence? Jump cuts at the end and no resolution.

Paranoia

Dan Storey

16.2: M

16.3 M WT D sound used to establish crime and track sets mood, works with images, continuity mostly though the walk into camera shot though imaginative is not achieved. Lacking pace but structure clear.

22.3 M WT D costume, props, location and mise en scene a range of shots used with appropriate framing, some clunky edits walking to camera, seems underdeveloped however like a teaser rather than complete narrative (twist is not apparent to audience). Depth of field skills used well in places and have meaning at times using focus pulls. Lighting is restricted to natural some shots use day for night and grading some not? Genre is clear. Non-linear missing with the absence of a flashback or montage for the D at the end?

Lawrence Akintayo

16.3: M WT D continuity and clear structure, sound and images ok til music drops and foley starts. Pacing issues shot walking into camera is achieved quite well but music break disarms it.

22.3: M WT D colour grading mostly consistent , lots of wandering to build but the flow on body and reaction shots are good, character established, depth of field and focus effective is sometimes have meaning. Technical quality is good – lacking the non linear effects for higher again ends with no resolution and twist not a twist – episodic?

Shanee Simpson

22.3: D - Uses montage at the start to establish location effective, pace is more controlled as it colour  grading. Higher out of all. We see the note here which makes it clearer. Non-linear has been used here in the montage.

16.3: D doesn’t pull off the walk into the camera shot, sound and images works well consistently and continuity maintained v. well with sense of pace and structure. Uses montage at start. Develop for Non Linear flashback etc?

Dollz

Tamaira Lynch

16.2 M (i said it was D but the paperwork must be produced for a Log)

16.3: M WT D off the walk into camera well, continuity maintained and sound establishes genre. Doesnt really score with drama or tension which is a major issue. Especially when the horror begins. Pace is lacking as well as the horror feel. Is relatively clear what is happening and continuity is maintained mostly. Lacking creativity or imagination in the editing techniques – as a horror this is a key requirement for supernatural effects and fear/mood.

22.3: M/D WT D a good range of shots and angles – mostly rule of thirds. 180 degree rule used. Lighting not beyond natural of ceiling lights – not clear this is a horror. Mise-en-scene is quite well used – some shots are framed well but some are not level – needs correcting. Some good frames on the escalators showing symmetry and depth. Looses the tension with the journey.  Colours and prop and blood used well but the horror of the voodoo not apparent and the story just ends? Episodic? Lacking visual conventions of horror looked at in your short film reports. Lacking non-linear content to tell story or focus on the doll – too much journey home. A good range of shots though. Glowing red at the end is good and attempts to colour fix the red,

Ugonna Emineke

16.3: M WT D off the walk into camera well, continuity maintained and sound establishes genre. More effective at scoring with the drama for tension but overuses the same track. Especially when the horror begins and he is stabling or glowing red. Pace is lacking as well as the horror feel  – need to inject flashbacks more or the premonitions to the Doll which you do once to break it up.  Is relatively clear what is happening and continuity is maintained mostly. Lacking creativity or imagination in the editing techniques – as a horror this is a key requirement for supernatural effects and fear/mood.

22.3: M/D WT D a good range of shots and angles – mostly rule of thirds. 180 degree rule used and match on actions extensively good pace at start. Close ups shows significance appropriately. Lighting not beyond natural of ceiling lights – not clear this is a horror. Mise-en-scene is quite well used – some shots are framed well but some are not level – needs correcting. Some good frames on the escalators showing symmetry. Does not really work with the depth of field focus or the exposure settings but the basics of shot types are there and effective.  Colours and prop and blood used well but the horror of the voodoo not apparent and the story just ends? Episodic? Lacking visual conventions of horror looked at in your short film reports. Lacking non-linear content to tell story or focus on the doll – too much journey home. A good range of shots though. Glowing red at the end is good and attempts to colour fix the red,

Micheal Oladokun

16.3: M WT D off the walk into camera well, continuity maintained and sound establishes genre. More effective at scoring with the drama for tension but overuses the same track – yours has diegetic sound though so more realistic. Especially when the horror begins and he is stabling or glowing red. Pace is lacking as well as the horror feel – need to inject flashbacks more or the premonitions to the Doll which you do once to break it up.  Is relatively clear what is happening and continuity is maintained mostly. Lacking creativity or imagination in the editing techniques – as a horror this is a key requirement for supernatural effects and fear/mood.

22.3: M/D WT D a good range of shots and angles – mostly rule of thirds. 180 degree rule used and match on actions extensively good pace at start. Close ups shows significance appropriately. Lighting not beyond natural of ceiling lights – not clear this is a horror. Mise-en-scene is quite well used – some shots are framed well but some are not level – needs correcting. Some good frames on the escalators showing symmetry. Does not really work with the depth of field focus or the exposure settings but the basics of shot types are there and effective.  Colours and prop and blood used well but the horror of the voodoo not apparent and the story just ends? Episodic? Lacking visual conventions of horror looked at in your short film reports. Lacking non-linear content to tell story or focus on the doll – too much journey home. A good range of shots though. Glowing red at the end is good and attempts to colour fix the red,

Dejhenea Gregory

16.3: M incomplete edit and looses structure to become confusing however this does establish the Doll’s supernatural appearance earlier. If this is non linear premonition it is rather confused though to be effective. Pulls off the walk into camera well, continuity mostly maintained and sound establishes genre but not mixed completely – can hear the tannoy announcement which breaks flow as well as ‘action’ etc. Ending lacks pace and structure.  Overall lacking careful editing to create horror feel – need to inject flashbacks more or the premonitions to the Doll which you do once to break it up.  Is relatively clear what is happening and continuity is maintained mostly. Lacking creativity or imagination in the editing techniques – as a horror this is a key requirement for supernatural effects and fear/mood.

22.3: M/D WT D a good range of shots and angles – mostly rule of thirds. 180 degree rule used and match on actions extensively good pace at start. Close ups shows significance appropriately. Lighting not beyond natural of ceiling lights – not clear this is a horror. Mise-en-scene is quite well used – some shots are framed well but some are not level – needs correcting. Some good frames on the escalators showing symmetry. Does not really work with the depth of field focus or the exposure settings but the basics of shot types are there and effective.  Colours and prop and blood used well but the horror of the voodoo not apparent and the story just ends? Episodic? Lacking visual conventions of horror looked at in your short film reports. Lacking clarity in the non-linear content to tell story or focus on the doll – too much journey home. A good range of shots though. Glowing red at the end is good and attempts to colour fix the red, not enough to tell the story properly.


Followed
Deniesha Freeman
16.3: P WT M editing has jump cuts at start which breaks the flow – she moves location, unclear and her conversation jumps. Issues with pacing here and structure – form is recognisable more as a trailer not a short film. There is no clear beginning middle or end. The footage is incomplete to allow you to be creative or imaginative or maintain a sense of genre that fits the mood – the structure is missing key shot or scenes because they were not filmed. Sound shows some attempt to work with images with the track.

22.3: M/P Some variety of shots and some examples of framing that use rule of thirds and depth. Some controlled use of low key lighting but uses available sources for some effect. Establishing shot used and some close ups for suspense, mystery or convention. Overall although the shots are steady and have some strengths in use of variety of angles etc there are not enough set ups used to give fluency and consistency to the whole sequence – the shoot is basically incomplete to tell the story or the twist effectively. You could have used non linear editing to show some of this as flashbacks. You production skills lighting, shooting etc are proficient hence Merit but the short film is under produced to be effective in the editing to make the mood or story effective/clear.
Eunice Gardner
16.3: M/P editing generally has flow and some techniques like cross cutting. It has one jump cut at the start which breaks the flow – she moves location/and her conversation jumps. Issues with pacing here it is far too conversational and tedious and not tense indulging dialogue and ruining the actual drama – this has no place in the film really and should be done away with. The structure is clear and does has a disruption but not middle or end– there is no twist apparent or shock factor. The footage filmed is incomplete to allow you to be very creative or imaginative or maintain a sense of genre that fits the mood. Sound shows some attempt to work with images with the track but there are clear issues in the mix with the plane overhead and a girls voice over the last scene.

22.3: M Some variety of shots and some examples of framing that use rule of thirds and depth. Some controlled use of low key lighting but uses available sources for some effect. Establishing shot used and some close ups for suspense, mystery or convention. Overall although the shots are steady and have some strengths in use of variety of angles etc there are not enough set ups used to give fluency and consistency to the whole sequence – the shoot is basically incomplete to tell the story or the twist effectively. You could have used non linear editing to show some of this as flashbacks. You production skills lighting, shooting etc are proficient hence Merit but the short film is under produced to be effective in the editing to make the mood or story effective/clear.
Jordan Crook
16.3: M editing generally has flow and some techniques like cross cutting. It has one jump cut at the start which breaks the flow – she moves location/and her conversation jumps. Issues with pacing here it is far too conversational and tedious and not tense indulging dialogue and ruining the actual drama – this has no place in the film really and should be done away with. The structure is clear and does has a disruption but not middle or end– there is no twist apparent or shock factor. The footage filmed is incomplete to allow you to be very creative or imaginative or maintain a sense of genre that fits the mood. Sound does not fit the genre (with neither Thriller nor Horror) although later this works but drop out then wind chimes? - and there are clear issues in the mix with the plane overhead and a girls voice over the last scene.

22.3: M Some variety of shots and some examples of framing that use rule of thirds and depth. Some controlled use of low key lighting and uses available sources for some effect well. Establishing shot used and some close ups for suspense, mystery or convention and kidnap does quite well as well as hiding the attacker. Overall although the shots are steady and have some strengths in use of variety of angles etc there are not enough set ups used to give fluency and consistency to the whole sequence – the shoot is basically incomplete to tell the story or the twist effectively. You could have used non linear editing to show some of this as flashbacks. You production skills lighting, shooting etc are proficient hence Merit but the short film is under produced to be effective in the editing to make the mood or story effective/clear.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Calvin Adisa

16.3: M WT D editing maintains a good flow and techniques like cross cutting. There are no jump cuts. Better use of pacing here but still too conversational and tedious and not tense indulging dialogue and ruining the actual drama. The structure is clear and does has a disruption but not middle or end– there is no twist apparent or shock factor. The footage filmed is incomplete to allow you to be very creative or imaginative or maintain a sense of genre that fits the mood - but you use conventions of fades to move from scene to scene. Sound fits very well with the images the genre (Thriller) although an issue in the mix with the plane overhead.


22.3: M Some variety of shots, framed well and some examples of framing that use rule of thirds and depth. Some controlled use of low key lighting and uses available sources for some effect well. Establishing shot used and some close ups for suspense, mystery or convention and kidnap does quite well as well as hiding the attacker. Overall although the shots are steady and have some strengths in use of variety of angles etc there are not enough set ups used to give fluency and consistency to the whole sequence – the shoot is basically incomplete to tell the story or the twist effectively. You could have used non linear editing to show some of this as flashbacks. You production skills lighting, shooting etc are proficient hence Merit but the short film is under produced to be effective in the editing to make the mood or story effective/clear.

Knock Knock who’s there
Ese Omamogh


22.3 M WT D lacking control over the camera – all shots are wavering in 1st minute and focus goes in and out on phone – all of this is unclear and can be cut cant read them anyway? Jogs again at the door. A god variety of angles and shot types used however appropriately to create mystery. V. Effective use of angles and depth of field when getting the tools from the box to hide identity and create depth. The attack scene is under-developed and needs more footage to be more effective. Use of lighting to create shadows and OSS. Canted angles used on returning victim and the lingering shot of neighbour is a nice stylish touch. But this is preceded by a HUGE camera jog. 2nd attack again is lacking footage to be more effective in the mood. A good use of mise-en-scene and the house has been used well (stairway and large hall) to get across the genre with the balaclava and fake blood. Symbol was not really lingered on to make this clear to the story. Non linear montage would be useful to speed up the attack or use of cross-cutting of the 2nd victim coming home to find the 1st victim.

16.3 M WT D Clearly a thriller with some sense of pace, lacking during attacks. The narrative is clear with an equilibrium disruption but left open ended. Not sure of the twist however, sound has been used well and a range of shots but the attacks lacks the drama they ought to have. Especially the 2nd attack lack editing pace and the sound needed. Last shot on phone makes no sense to resolution?  Continuity maintained with only one or two obvious jump cuts on balance with a long sequence. She is laughing when dragged into bathroom which should be cut more precisely. For D you should use more imaginative techniques such as montage or flashbacks and work with the sound in more detail.




No comments:

Post a Comment